It's not what you are thinking, it's actually the opposite. On Thursday morning, the second day of school, Mia walks into my room and asks, "Velani is not going to school today?" and I said, "no" and she went and told Velani, "I told you you're not going to school today!" Velani came into my room and asked me if she was going to go to school and I told her that she wasn't ,but she replied with a "Yes I am!" I explained to her that I had received a call at 6:00 am and that it was an automated message from the school district saying the schools would be closed because of bad weather conditions. Apparently, it rained a lot during the night and caused a lot of flooding. She was disappointed, but accepted it and went on to play with Mia like always. Mia was so happy her sister would be staying home to play with her.
I have to admit I felt really happy! I then thought that her disappointment would come again sooner than she thought. She would go back to school on Friday, but then stay home again for the weekend, but she's pretty smart and figured it all on her own. She told me in an asking sort of way that she wouldn't be going to school on Saturday and Sunday. I know she will be grateful later on that she doesn't have to go to school on the weekends.
So Friday morning we went through the same routine as Wednesday and headed out to the bus stop. I felt scared and nervous! She, on the other hand, was excited! When I saw the bus getting closer I began to really feel nervous and when I saw her going up those steps I started to cry, but I tried to not let her see me. I wanted to run up there with her. She sat next to two other little girls at the very front. I don't know how to explain all the mixed emotions I felt, but she looked happy and she was just waving at me and I was waving back at her. I guess I was all emotional because it finally hit me then and there, she was growing up! I wouldn't get to spend all day every day with her again. I realized that maybe I didn't spend enough quality time with her and that I wanted to go back in time when she was little again and relive all those years with her again. I know I have to let go and accept that she is growing up and that's part of life, but I guess I'm just feeling like this because I'm going through all of this all by myself, since Jahvel is in school.
Anyways, I wasn't the only one that cried, Mia threw a tantrum because she wanted to ride the bus with velani, too! I felt even worst. I had Adan in a carrier and Mia crying and not wanting to come back home. I broke down once we made it home. Once I composed myself I talked to Mia and made her understand that Adan and I needed her to stay home with us. She felt better! An hour later the nurse called and asked if I could go to school and teach her how to use Velani's glucometer, which I gladly accepted. I felt better after seeing her in school. I guess what I am really worried about is not being with her to make sure her sugar levels are ok and that she is feeling ok. I have always been there for her diabetic needs and I guess not being there now worries me a little, but I know that she is in good hands. The nurses there are nice and they really do care about her and they told me that they would call me if they needed me and now I know they will. After school we went to Target and spent a long time there because when I got home it was just about time to pick her up from the bus stop. The bus took forever to get there, but once it did the bus lady made sure each parent was there before letting each child out. Velani was happy to see us. She hugged Mia and kissed Adan and told us all about her day. She is happy and I am happy for her. I guess it will get easier as the days go by.
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